[personal profile] wowbright
I started writing this 15 minutes after the episode was over and was just going to share my flails. Somehow it turned into major meta.


(Trigger warning: I will be discussing relationship violence/abuse in section 2. Nothing graphic, just that it exists and how people deal with it.)

---1----

I don't hate Rachel. I admire her singing (when she sticks to Broadway and not country) and her gumption and her pride. And yet, I was eagerly awaiting the moment when the NYADA rep would not be impressed with her audition.

I hadn't been spoiled on it, unless you count last week's preview, and honestly I thought that the scenes in the preview had been put together misleadingly, to make it look like something major was going to go wrong with Rachel's audition, when in fact nothing major was.

I was wrong.

If I had been writing Glee, Rachel's error would have been in having too much polish and not enough soul - especially given the bad advice Rachel had given Kurt about sticking with his Phantom of the Opera routine. And that was, in fact, a problem with her performance, even before she choked. She wasn't paying attention to the words and giving them emotional weight. She was just smiling through it.

But I don't write Glee, and in addition to that, they had her choke.

I'll have to think about it (or read other folks' meta) before I come to any conclusions about why she choked. But that's how it was, and it surprised me. Yes, I knew the episode was called Choke, but I thought it was in a metaphorical sense. Guess I was wrong. (Or partially wrong - I think it still was metaphorical, in addition to literal.)

The reason I was looking forward to Rachel not impressing the NYADA reps? Well, there was the stuff going on in the episode itself, with her terrible and self-serving (whether intentional or not, I don't know) advice to Kurt. But there are themes that other people have pointed out that made me think it would happen. Rachel's (and Finn's) being coddled by their parents, given whatever they want even if it's not always in their best interest (whether it's lessons in everything for Rachel or being told that your father died in Iraq for Finn - we're not even going to talk about whether Rachel and Finn are minors and therefore need their parents express permission to get legally married). In contrast, Kurt has been loved, but never coddled, by his father. This has prepared him to view the world with more realism, and that led him to realizing - despite Blaine's swooning and Rachel's encouragement - that "Music of the Night" wasn't the right thing for his audition.

Funnily, even though Kurt is more world-wise than Rachel, he often believes her to be the more cosmopolitan one, and so he acquiesces at first when she insists that switching to "Not the Boy Next Door" would be a mistake. Well, he acquiesces a little. He wants to trust her, wants to believe that she has better judgment than he does in these things - but he keeps "Not the Boy Next Door" as his backup plan, and as soon as he suspects that the NYADA rep doesn't want to hear "Music of the Night" at yet another audition (and notice how quickly he suspects, because he understands people, because he's been taught by his father and his life experience that he needs to look beyond himself in order to survive/thrive), he goes to his backup plan.

Rachel, on the other hand, doesn't notice the NYADA rep's bored look and tone when she introduces herself and announces her song. Or if she does, she doesn't change her plan. She continues on the path she's set for herself the whole series: ignore the other people in the room. Sometimes it works out for her, but a lot of times it doesn't, and it really didn't this time around.

(I'm open to the interpretation that she did notice the NYADA rep's boredom, and that's why she choked - if she did notice it, it would be a step toward maturity for Rachel. But she still needs to learn to take the next step, which is to take other people's needs into account when you make decisions that will affect them. Kurt knows how to do that*; Rachel does not.)

Interesting. I had no idea I had so many thoughts about Rachel. Apparently I do.

*He doesn't always do it perfectly, but he knows how.

---2---

Bieste.

This whole thread made me sad.

I've started liveblogging Glee on Twitter, just for my own notetaking purposes. And once her abuse was confirmed, one of the things I wrote down over there was "Can I say now that everyone who said that Bieste's quick marriage made no sense and proved Glee's plot incoherency were wrong?" The only whirlwind romance I ever had ended up as an abusive relationship, and everywhere in the domestic abuse literature, whirlwind romance is listed as an early warning sign of abuse. (Here, for example.)

It was pretty clear from that first scene in the hallway with Shannon, Roz and the girls that something was actually going on with Shannon. When she gave that too-detailed story about how she got her shiner in the teachers' break room, it became clearer.

I wondered if Sue and Roz suspected, but thought that straight-out asking Shannon wouldn't get an answer, and that's why they assigned the girls a singing assignment – to get Sue to open up. Apparently, though, they were as clueless as the girls.

I loved Shannon's response to Roz when Roz asked why she didn't hit Cooter back, since she's big and powerful. "I'm not a violent person." (I may be paraphrasing.) That's what I told myself, too, when I was in an abusive relationship (as the abusee) with someone who was smaller than me. I had taken self-defense classes and done quite well in them, but I had trouble translating them to the situation I was in. I also had this idea that I needed her love more than anything else (because no one else was going to love me and I only wanted her love, anyway). I also had lofty notions about modeling non-violence and selfless love.  

I also suspected that Shannon was lying when she told Sue she was staying with her sister, although my suspicion was neither proven nor disproven in the episode. All we know is that Shannon stays with Cooter (whether continuously or after a night away is unclear). The other thing we know is that she hasn't told anyone who knew about the abuse that she's returned to him. She's isolating herself from the only people who can help her. (They're the only people who can help her not because they are special or good at it, but because they're the only people who know.)

I am not opposed to giving people second chances. I'm one of those people, for example, who was not disappointed in or worried about Kurt trying to support Dave after his suicide attempt. There's a few reasons that situation sits okay with me:
  • Kurt doesn't live with Dave.
  • They're not trying to have a romantic relationship.
  • Kurt has made it clear that he will not tolerate abuse, and I have no doubt that if Dave tried anything again, Kurt would cut things off.
  • Dave is getting psychological help to deal with his issues (this isn't explicitly stated in the episode, but it would be medical malpractice for him to NOT be getting that help), and I'm sure the issues that he will be dealing with in therapy include his history of violence, and learning to find other (healthy) coping mechanisms to deal with his fears.
Shannon giving Bieste a second chance when they've never discussed the violence, much less sought outside help, is a huge problem. Even on the off-chance that Cooter doesn't repeat the abuse, their relationship will be fucked up because of the fear that Shannon now has, and the power that Cooter now has over her.

---3---

So when I started writing this episode reaction, I thought it was going to be a huge flail over Kurt. Because Kurt, I love you. Your "Music of the Night" was beautifully sung, but your performance of it was ridiculous, and you made the right choice to scrap it. Do you know how many times I shrieked and cheered during "Not the Boy Next Door"? Let's see if I can remember them all:
  • When you took off the cape.
  • When you took off the whole damn suit.
  • When you pretended to play piano next to Brad and he smiled at you instead of rolling his eyes.
  • When you rolled across the piano.
  • When you danced on the piano.
  • When you did that same backward bend you did in Season 2 while auditioning for a Nationals solo in those McQueen pants and open-backed vest.
  • When you wiggled your hips.
  • When your notes kept getting higher and higher.
  • When you hit that final note. (What was that note? Was it higher than a high F? Tell me, tell me, someone tell me!)
And why did I cheer so much, causing the neighbors think that I was watching a hockey game? Because everything you did was you, Kurt, and you shine.

When you walked off the stage and into the wings, I wished I could have been there to give you a big hug. I have had performances like that (well, not like that; but ones I felt really good about), and it's always better when there's someone in the wings to hug. Maybe Blaine ran down there really fast. Because Kurt, you deserve it.

---4---

Puck.

I'm hoping that the reason Puck failed his European Geography quiz is because he drew that self-portrait of himself as a dinosaur on the front of it. My honey is a teacher, and whenever his students do shit like that, I tell him that should get them an automatic F.

Still, I was sad that he got an F. I want him to graduate, too. But graduating isn't a right; it needs to mean something. And if Puck hasn't put in the effort – well, maybe he needs to come back next year and try. (I know no spoilers, so don't tell me if he actually is or isn't, dears.)

I was delighted by "Rain in Spain" and so glad I was unspoiled for it. It would have not been the same at all if I'd known it was coming. If I'd known, it would have seemed predictable. Since I didn't, it was surprising and awesome.

Also, I was getting all wistful for Puck-Blaine bromance and then Puck had to be a douchebag. Poor Blaine. I know being a douchebag is part of Puck's MO, and that there's a good chance Puck didn't mean what he said and just said it because the opportunity presented itself and he might as well take it. If Puck had said something like that to Kurt, Kurt probably would have been able to roll his eyes and not care. But Blaine takes things personally, Puck. His feelings are going to be hurt, even if he pretends that he's okay with it because you're "just kidding." If you haven't learned that by now, then the bromance I've been hoping for has not come to fruition – and it won't until you learn it, and also apologize for being a douche.

Despite all your faults, I'll take a cue from Kurt's "I love you, Rachel Berry" (which melted my heart) and say, "I love you, Noah Puckerman." I just think you can do a lot better for yourself and for others than you are right now. I think you know that, too.
-------

I'm looking forward to your responses, but please keep me unspoiled for anything going on in future episodes - that includes songs, actors who may or may not appear, etc etc.

Oh, also, I didn't read through this before posting because I wasn't supposed to be spending so long writing this in the first place. So feel free to kindly point out grammatical errors or sentences that don't make sense so I can fix them. Thanks!

Date: 2012-05-02 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moriah17.livejournal.com
Rachel: I'm open to interpretation too but initially, I just think she psyched herself out. I was worried about her inadvertently psyching Kurt out (and I think she nearly did; it's wonderful (and in character) that he planned ahead and had a backup but I still think it was a very close call to having Kurt choke too) but I think that every time she advised Kurt, she was showing her own nerves and allowing those nerves to feed off each other. By the time she watched Kurt perform and saw his risk pay off, she was completely freaked. She didn't have a backup and she probably feared that her go-to was far to safe. All this build up and the pressure was just too much. 

Beiste: great points about how they were likely planning this all along. I hadn't thought about the whirlwind marriage. I do wish there had been one other hint prior to tonight ... even if we would never have guessed from it but we could go back and say: "ha, see, there's more evidence!" Could pitting Sue and Beiste against each other be that evidence? 

I didn't suspect that Shannon was lying about the speed bag so I was completely surprised to discover that he really had hit her. But I didn't believe for a second that she had really moved in with her sister (still think that was probably a lie) and I definitely didn't believe she had left Cooter for good. I have some buddies who I talk to about the show and they worry that Glee is going to drop this storyline. I feel certain they will come back to it but I worry that they'll put it off for a while. I feel like it's been too long since we've seen Dave (if we'll ever see him again) and while I don't think it needs to be addressed next week, I do think they need to revisit what's happening with Beiste sometime this season.

By the way, thank you for your words on second chances and on the comparison to Dave. I've had the domestic violence conversation with people who inaccurately (in my opinion) compare Dave's bullying and violent past to "battered pattern syndrome." So I really appreciate your clear and succinct way of addressing that issue. I also do believe in second chance but, as you said, this is a special situation and even if he never hits her again, the power dynamic is f'ed up. If they are going to be together, that betrayal of trust, that potential for violence, that power dynamic ... it must all be addressed directly and, ideally, with the help of professionals.

Kurt: yes, yes, and yes to all of it. I was sooo happy to see his risk pay off, to see him being himself payin off. Most of all: "When you walked off the stage and into the wings, I wished I could have been there to give you a big hug." ME TOO!!!

Puck: Again, I agree. I want good things for him but I think it was right that he'd fail that test. It is heartbreaking after him talking about looking forward to graduating. Perhaps there is another way (other than sleeping with the teacher, of course) or maybe he'll be back next year. I'm spoiler free too but I wouldn't be surprised if he's at McKinley next year, perhaps more focused. Although, he seemed more focused most of this year than the last two as well so who knows. But this does bring up the question of Brittany? Will he fail and she pass? Hmm ....

I also agree about "The Rain in Spain." It surprised me but I loved it. I'm such a huge fan of My Fair Lady that I'm not sure what I would have thought if I knew it was coming but I really enjoyed it for what it was.

Anyway, I've now spent too long responding. Love reading your meta, though. Thanks again for all of it :)

Date: 2012-05-04 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wowbright.livejournal.com
Could pitting Sue and Beiste against each other be that evidence?

That's such an interesting question. At first I thought, "Well, no, Cooter didn't pit them against each other," but then I thought back on it and realized he may have been manipulating/playing the situation. He wanted Shannon, he didn't think she was going to give him what he wanted, and instead of communicating with her about that, he either (1) went his own way without telling her why (which would simply be assholish, but not abusive) or (2) went his own way to up the ante and get her to capitulate to something she wasn't ready for (which would be manipulative, and people who are emotionally abusive certainly do use manipulation as one of the tools in their arsenal).

I would like to know more about Cooter. I don't get the sense that he's diabolical -- meaning, I don't think he's gone into this relationship just waiting for the right moment when he could finally hit his wife, and also that if he was being manipulative in the Sue vs Shannon scenario, he may have only been half aware of what he was doing. I get the sense rather that lacks a moral compass and the ability to take responsibility for his own actions.

But I don't have a lot to go on here. I guess I'm going on the fact that he seems to be generally well-liked, and that he seemed genuinely nice in a lot of his interactions with people earlier in the season, not just like he was being nice to hide his true, completely evil nature (I haven't rewatched, though, to see if I still feel he's genuine).

It's interesting that all the physically abusive types on the show are associated with either football or hockey. (Unless I'm missing someone?) I doubt that's a coincidence on Glee's part. Of course, Glee isn't saying that all contact sports participants are abusive, but there are statistical connections - like that domestic violence calls rise on Super Bowl Sunday.

There is more I want to ponder about on this subject, and more about the other stuff you've said (actually, things I've wanted to say for the past two days but ugh it's been crazy here), but it's way past my bedtime. I'm only up this late because I didn't have dinner tonight and was thinking about bed at midnight and then was like, "Oops, I haven't eaten, I won't be able to sleep if I don't eat." So I guess we'll have to discuss this in installments. :)



Date: 2012-05-20 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moriah17.livejournal.com
I wish I had gotten around to this before Props. Because you're exactly right that there really wasn't evidence that Cooter was pitting Sue and Shannon against each other. The way I framed the original question was looking at that situation in the worst possible light and I didn't do a good job explaining that it was intentional even though I hadn't looked at it that way prior to this reveal. In fact, I defended Cooter to people who were angry that Beiste would want someone like him back when he was cheating on her with Sue. I didn't feel like it was cheating. 

Now, though, and especially after seeing the emotional manipulation that he tried in Props, I think it's very possible that Cooter really enjoyed having these women fight over him. And perhaps that he even enjoyed making Shannon question herself by being with Sue. As you said, he could have used the threat of Sue to really push Shannon into a more serious relationship than she was ready for. That's still looking at it in the worst possible light but it does seem like a bigger possibility now that we know more about Cooter and how he was with Shannon, not just hitting her but how he was when she came back to him. Even knowing more about him, I still tend to agree that he probably isn't diabolical and probably isn't even aware of his own abusive patterns. But there's no question that he was emotionally manipulative this past week so it stands to reason that he might have been when he was with Sue.

It's interesting that all the physically abusive types on the show are associated with either football or hockey. (Unless I'm missing someone?)

I doubt that it's a coincidence either. You're exactly right about domestic violence calls on Super Bowl Sunday. There are all kinds of study that show that socially accepted violence rises the likelihood of really dangerous violent behavior. Sue's connection to football is indirect, especially since she is much more focused on the competition angle of cheerleading as opposed to the cheering aspect (for which, I say great ... cheerleading on the sidelines has always bugged the feminist in me but I respect competition squads) but Glee has certainly shown Cheerios to be just as ruthless as any contact sport. 

Anyway, enjoyed reading your thoughts. Would love to know what you thought for Shannon's storyline in Props.

Date: 2012-05-20 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wowbright.livejournal.com
I loved Shannon's story line in Props. I was so scared when she told Cooter she was leaving, though. I was just waiting for him to fly at her, especially when she turned her back on him to walk out the door. That terrified me. I had to keep telling myself, "This is Glee, this is Glee, they might do graphic attempted suicide, but they're not going to do rape or murder."

But I especially loved the way that her storyline was connected to Puck's. The way the images of each of them holding knives was used to connect their two stories really struck me, and gets an A++++ for the Glee staff. When Puck brought out his knife - or maybe when Shannon took it away from him - was the most emotional moment in their storyline for me. It showed how they are both in these horrible situations and feeling really pushed toward extreme violence, even though that's not what either of them truly want.

Thanks for bringing up the Cheerios, by the way. I've been thinking of Sue as emotionally abusive, but it certainly could be argued that she's been physically abusive - she certainly has put her kids in physically dangerous situations. I guess whether that is abuse depends on consent (and whether teens are able to consent to that kind of treatment). I'll have to think about that more, and probably rewatch the Sue Sylvester Shuffle.

P.S. Can I just say how I love that Glee doesn't make any of its characters either completely evil or completely good, even though it would be easier to do so?

Date: 2012-05-21 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moriah17.livejournal.com
I agree with every word you said about Shannon and Puck's storyline in Props. I was so impressed with that episode, and especially with how they tied those two characters to one another. I also feel like they held back in ways they don't always hold back. I halfway expected Beiste to tell Puck that she does know what it's like to feel worthless and then confess what she's going through. I was glad they ultimately didn't go that route. It's one thing that open the eyes of students making jokes about domestic violence but its another to dump your own crap on a student going through crap too. That's what Will does, not Shannon ;) But yes, I really loved how they used the knife as a symbol of what they were both going through. It really was well done, all the way around. 

As for Sue, she is definitely emotionally abusive but don't forget that she tripped the elderly nurse on the stairs in season 1 so that Terri could come work at the school and then she also pushed the coach from Aural Intensity down the stairs twice. We've also seen her push students into lockers, and throw violent fits when she doesn't get her way.

PS I absolutely adore that about Glee too. None of the characters (expect maybe Rick the Stick at this point) are completely good or completely bad. This is why I love all the characters on some level. 
Edited Date: 2012-05-21 04:26 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-21 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wowbright.livejournal.com
I forget so many things that Sue has done because she has done so much. Seriously, more than any other character on the show, it seems much of the time. Maybe because she does everything so fast? Thanks for pointing these things out to me. I'm not sure I'll ever understand Sue, and yet for some reason I rather like her.

Date: 2012-05-02 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spiritwild.livejournal.com
I think you were spot on with your obsevation on the differences between how Kurt and Rachel have learned to respond to cues fron their audience. Kurt has certainly never had anything handed to him freely and as a resulthas learned to reach for the things he wants using not only technique & skill, but also the sharply honed gut instinct that comes from a lifetime of navigating an all too cruel world. And boy did it pay off in this case baby! Meanwhile, Rachel has had none of this need to fight,up till now she has always been the biggest fish in her particular pond.

As to my thoughts on things that led to Rachel's choke. Did you read crown_of_weeds' speculation a couple weeks ago? (I am writing from my phone so I have no link at the moment.) I generally try to remain unspoiled, she is the only one I will read speculation from before an episode. She pointed out a subtle string of Rachel behaviors, identifying them as possibly leading up to mostly unconscious self sabotage, and you should just read it because she says it much better than I ever could! Suffice to say, I suddenly identified with Rachel a whole lot more than I ever expected to!

Long ramble is over, thank you for listening /giving it a space? I always enjoy reading your episode reactions, I just don't often have words right after episodes air! I think I only found some this time because your audition meta poked at something I'd been mulling over for a while already.
Edited Date: 2012-05-02 04:02 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-05-02 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mimiheart.livejournal.com
Re: Kurt's high note, it's a G. I'm 98% sure, anyhow. I don't have perfect pitch, though, and I don't feel like waking up the guy in the house that does. (I have relative pitch, and it certainly 'feels' like a G to sing, if that makes any sense at all.)

__

Rachel... I don't know what happened, other than that it can to ANYONE. But 8 bars? Really? For a school audition? Shit, I have a play audition this week that's giving us 32 bars, which is unusually long, but iirc, I think I had to do two contrasting songs for every school audition. (Usually one in a foreign language.) Granted this was twelve years ago and none were performing arts schools, but 8 bars shows them nothing. (Also, one judge? HA.) And if you only get 8 bars, choose something SLOW.

__

Puck failed his test because the rain in Spain doesn't mainly fall on the plain. It's a great rhyme, crappy geography. It mainly falls in the Northern Mountains. Next, they'll try and teach him that Moses supposes his toeses are roses, and where will we be?

___

The Beiste storyline made my youngest daughter cry. *hugs* for you. I was afraid of how they would handle the storyline, and I'm still not sure about it.

Date: 2012-05-02 08:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fictocriticism.livejournal.com
Beautiful discussion about Kurt and Rachel. This ep made me remember why I liked Rachel so much in season 1 - she's ridiculous but unabashedly so and I think having her fail is probably quite necessary to have her succeed along the line. Like you said, I didn't really see it coming in quite that sense... the literal 'choke' as such, but I can only imagine where we will go from here as far as her recovery from such a (potentially) fatal blow. I do hope though (although it's Glee, so clearly I'm reaching here) that her plans also included applying for other universities in NYC as well...

I'm not going to touch on the domestic violence issue beyond saying I really enjoyed reading your comments on it because they brought to light many things I felt I missed in the episode (especially the lying about the sister thing because I did not see that coming. Perhaps I'm a bit naive!).

Puck's whole storyline has been a bit whirlwind this season so I think it's interesting that they are suddenly throwing his future into disarray as well, especially when he was one of the few that seemed to really have a (somewhat ridiculous) plan. That said, HOW ON EARTH could they keep Mark Salling in highschool any longer? *suspension of disbelief*

(I also had a weird flashback to season 1 of Dawson's Creek during this bit. Oops.)

Ok, ramble ramble! Great thoughts. I love reading your breakdowns of the ep :)
Edited Date: 2012-05-03 10:07 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-05-02 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sin-fuego.livejournal.com
Because everything you did was you, Kurt, and you shine.

Yes he did :) I really enjoyed his performance and like another commenter said, I think his last note was a high G.

Re: Bieste's plotline. I'm going to wait & see. My feelings are still up in the air about it.

Date: 2012-05-03 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] specialj67.livejournal.com
I have lots of thoughts and feelings about this episode, most which you already articulated in your post. So here's a thing I did about the gold pants. Sorry for no embed: http://qkme.me/3p3c98

Date: 2012-05-03 03:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wowbright.livejournal.com
LOVE THE GIF. I do not understand how people make them. Is it some kind of magic?

I don't think I'll ever get to a point where I've seen too much of Kurt Hummel in his gold pants. I never realized how hot gold lamé was until Tuesday night. Now I want my boyfriend to get a pair, along with the black shirt, and I told him so - he didn't seem convinced. But the SHOES are also hot - I was drooling over them through the entire song. I'm sure I could convince my boyfriend to wear shoes like that, if not the gold lamé pants, and I'd still be pretty happy.

Or will I just have to settle for Kurt reprising the shoes, and possibly the shirt - and on a slim, slim chance, the pants - in a future episode? I would not mind any of those scenarios at all ...

(This response has been brought to you by the Society for the Objectification of Chris Colfer and Wowbright's Boyfriend.)

Profile

wowbright: (Default)
wowbright

June 2017

S M T W T F S
    123
45678 910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jan. 5th, 2026 04:00 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios