Fic: Crave

[wowbright]

 

I was cleaning up my computer recently and found this thing I started the week after 3.05 The First Time and never continued. This takes place the day after the Roxy Music/"That's why they invented masturbation" scene and before Scandals, and nothing happens in it except Blaine's thoughts, which are very sub!Blaine and creeping into masochism territory if you squint.

And that was a long summary for 426 words. 

 

Since last night, the want inside Blaine has taken on a life of its own. He's so used to holding back, being patient, waiting for Kurt to give the okay. He's so used to subsuming his desires, to ignoring the way his heart beats when Kurt wraps their hands together during glee club, the way his stomach flips when Kurt looks at him with questioning eyes, the way his body lights on fire when he sees Kurt walking down the hall in his confident, know-it-all, you-can't-hurt-me strut.

Except now, Kurt has told Blaine he doesn't have to. Kurt has pretty much shown Blaine he doesn't have to. Do you ever have the urge to just rip off each other's clothes and get dirty? Kurt said, the unspoken Because I do clear in the thick pout of his lower lips and the way his eyes followed Blaine's, um, pelvis around the room.

At the time, Blaine acted calm and cool and the way a gentleman is supposed to act. He didn't let the words or looks or the desire behind them hit him until Kurt waved goodbye. And then they thwunked him upside the head like they were a wooden board and he was Wile E. Coyote, and his head spun with stars and tweeting birds and he couldn't even see straight.

And still, Blaine is scared, and hesitant, and unsure where to begin. It would all be so much easier if Kurt would just take the lead without asking, without broaching it in words first. Words make it too easy to postpone things, and he doesn't want to postpone anymore. He wants Kurt to pin him against the wall with want and now and not take reasonableness for an answer.

That Sebastian guy wouldn't.

Okay, that came out the wrong way. Blaine doesn't want the Sebastian guy. At all. The conversation with him at Dalton was awkward and embarrassing and made Blaine feel queasy, like he was doing something wrong. 

It was creepy. It was also … arousing. Sebastian was all sex-on-a-stick and heartbreaker and undressing Blaine with his eyes, lingering at the knot on Blaine's bowtie like he could undo it – or maybe pull it a little tighter – with his lust alone. Blaine wished it were Kurt across the table, looking at Blaine with tireless craving.

Blaine's not sure how to explain this to Kurt. For eight months, they've been pretending that Blaine's waiting for permission from Kurt to become more intimate. But it's not Kurt's permission he's been waiting for. It's Kurt's relentless, pitiless desire.

 

 

Comments

[out_there]

For eight months, they've been pretending that Blaine's waiting for permission from Kurt to become more intimate. But it's not Kurt's permission he's been waiting for. It's Kurt's relentless, pitiless desire.

Oh, I love that. I think it's also very true that for all of Blaine's understanding and apparent maturity, what he's really waiting for is for Kurt to take the lead.

[wowbright]

Yes, I think Blaine is so much more comfortable when Kurt takes the lead. I've seen it since most clearly since 3.05 (and whoa Nelly it's a big theme this season), but I think there were hints of it before.

[springbay.livejournal.com]

Oh my... wow!

[wowbright.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[jazzy-pizzaz.livejournal.com]

wow shit. that last line just hit me in the face-- inexplicably powerful.

I love how this ties together both Blaine being the more experienced (but not actually) gentleman with Blaine the sub waiting for Kurt to take control.

It's strange how reading reaction fics from episodes long past can still give original insight into the characters... good job!

[wowbright.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *Flailing over here.*