My Klaine creds

I don't know how much I'll be posting to LiveJournal, but I like to hang around here for the Klaine fan fiction. And so you may want to know a little bit about my relationship with Klaine.

Well, I think this one dream I had says most of it:

Kurt and Blaine are my neighbors and come over to my house a lot. I've known Kurt longer; we have some sort of long friendship history. Blaine notes that I always have lots of books laying around that I'm in the middle of reading and is impressed by my literateness. I tell him that anything I read is to prep for my radio show. Blaine says, "What radio show?"

I give Kurt a withering, but friendly, look. "You've never told him about my queer radio show?"

"It never came up," Kurt says. I can tell by his tone of voice that Kurt made sure it never came up.

Blaine is very excited about the show and surprised that I am part of the tribe and starts asking me lots of questions. This apparently happens over multiple visits; sometimes Kurt's there, sometimes not.

It becomes apparent that Blaine, despite being madly in love with Kurt, has not completely dispensed with his bicuriousness, even if making out with Rachel Barry does nothing for him when he is sober. One day, when Kurt is not around, he says, "I can't stand it anymore. I'm so in love with Kurt, but - "

- and then he starts kissing me. I push him away, I guess because Kurt and I are friends and I try to be honorable now and then.

"You can't do this to Kurt," I say.

"Why can't I love both of you?" Blaine says.

I explain to Blaine that he is not really in love with me, that he just has a girl-crush on me because I am outspoken and fabulous. He loves me the way that gay men love my mom, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland and Susan Sarandon.

(Then I realize that Susan Sarandon was a bad example to bring up, since for a while she dated a gay guy who had never been attracted to a woman until he met - guess who? - Susan Sarandon.)

I realize that nothing I am saying to Blaine is true; he really is in love with me, and I'm being just as assholey as Kurt was when Kurt told him that "Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change." And there's a little part of me that tells me I should validate Blaine's feelings because I know from experience that it's really fricking hard to be a bisexual teenager, especially when the person you love says shit like that. I can't make out with Blaine, but I could tell him that what he's feeling isn't wrong.

But I don't tell him that. He's just a kid, and I want to make things simple for him. Ultimately, my loyalties are with Kurt - even if he said that shitty thing about bisexuals. Kurt reminds me of myself when I was his age - our singing ranges, our prudishness, our porcelain skin, the crazy outfits, the simultaneous craving and fear of attention, and our utter confusion and hostility when things don't fit into the little boxes we made for them. And so I know that if Kurt sees Blaine kissing me, Kurt will assume that means that Blaine doesn't love him.

So I repeat to Blaine that he doesn't love me, that it's impossible for him to have those kinds of feelings for me.

Blaine tells me I am full of shit and kisses me again. If I didn't believe him by his words, I really have to believe him by the way he's kissing me that he thinks I'm hot.

And that's when Kurt walks in. I am mortified at myself. And Kurt is mortified. And we burst into tears simultaneously. The only difference between me and Kurt at this moment is that he runs away. I am frozen in place.

I am so relieved when Blaine runs after him. I should have talked to Blaine like an adult, told him that who you're attracted to isn't up to you, but how you treat people is. And that love - that bond, the kind of bond that he and Kurt have - always always always comes first. Sometimes that means hard conversations, like, "This is really confusing for me, because I'm totally in love with you, but I have a crush on so-and-so, and I don't know what to do."

So I yell after Blaine: "Tell Kurt you love him more than anyone in the world, that you could never love anyone more, that you can't live without him, but that you're just a little more queer than you knew and it has nothing to do with him!"

My Klaine creds

I don't know how much I'll be posting to LiveJournal, but I like to hang around here for the Klaine fan fiction. And so you may want to know a little bit about my relationship with Klaine.

Well, I think this one dream I had says most of it:

Kurt and Blaine are my neighbors and come over to my house a lot. I've known Kurt longer; we have some sort of long friendship history. Blaine notes that I always have lots of books laying around that I'm in the middle of reading and is impressed by my literateness. I tell him that anything I read is to prep for my radio show. Blaine says, "What radio show?"

I give Kurt a withering, but friendly, look. "You've never told him about my queer radio show?"

"It never came up," Kurt says. I can tell by his tone of voice that Kurt made sure it never came up.

Blaine is very excited about the show and surprised that I am part of the tribe and starts asking me lots of questions. This apparently happens over multiple visits; sometimes Kurt's there, sometimes not.

It becomes apparent that Blaine, despite being madly in love with Kurt, has not completely dispensed with his bicuriousness, even if making out with Rachel Barry does nothing for him when he is sober. One day, when Kurt is not around, he says, "I can't stand it anymore. I'm so in love with Kurt, but - "

- and then he starts kissing me. I push him away, I guess because Kurt and I are friends and I try to be honorable now and then.

"You can't do this to Kurt," I say.

"Why can't I love both of you?" Blaine says.

I explain to Blaine that he is not really in love with me, that he just has a girl-crush on me because I am outspoken and fabulous. He loves me the way that gay men love my mom, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland and Susan Sarandon.

(Then I realize that Susan Sarandon was a bad example to bring up, since for a while she dated a gay guy who had never been attracted to a woman until he met - guess who? - Susan Sarandon.)

I realize that nothing I am saying to Blaine is true; he really is in love with me, and I'm being just as assholey as Kurt was when Kurt told him that "Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change." And there's a little part of me that tells me I should validate Blaine's feelings because I know from experience that it's really fricking hard to be a bisexual teenager, especially when the person you love says shit like that. I can't make out with Blaine, but I could tell him that what he's feeling isn't wrong.

But I don't tell him that. He's just a kid, and I want to make things simple for him. Ultimately, my loyalties are with Kurt - even if he said that shitty thing about bisexuals. Kurt reminds me of myself when I was his age - our singing ranges, our prudishness, our porcelain skin, the crazy outfits, the simultaneous craving and fear of attention, and our utter confusion and hostility when things don't fit into the little boxes we made for them. And so I know that if Kurt sees Blaine kissing me, Kurt will assume that means that Blaine doesn't love him.

So I repeat to Blaine that he doesn't love me, that it's impossible for him to have those kinds of feelings for me.

Blaine tells me I am full of shit and kisses me again. If I didn't believe him by his words, I really have to believe him by the way he's kissing me that he thinks I'm hot.

And that's when Kurt walks in. I am mortified at myself. And Kurt is mortified. And we burst into tears simultaneously. The only difference between me and Kurt at this moment is that he runs away. I am frozen in place.

I am so relieved when Blaine runs after him. I should have talked to Blaine like an adult, told him that who you're attracted to isn't up to you, but how you treat people is. And that love - that bond, the kind of bond that he and Kurt have - always always always comes first. Sometimes that means hard conversations, like, "This is really confusing for me, because I'm totally in love with you, but I have a crush on so-and-so, and I don't know what to do."

So I yell after Blaine: "Tell Kurt you love him more than anyone in the world, that you could never love anyone more, that you can't live without him, but that you're just a little more queer than you knew and it has nothing to do with him!"