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I have all the feels

Because of this ...

Dance With Somebody, 3.17

When an episode of Glee really hits me, I don't fall asleep until really late and then I wake up really early. So I'm writing this on five hours of sleep, and it's pretty random. It's nothing brilliant like

crown_of_weeds or

calanthe_b would write, so go there if you're looking for insight.

First off, as I told

lavender_love00 this morning, I had a dream last night that Darren Criss was over at my house (didn't look like my house), on my computer and leaving fannish comments everywhere about last night's episode. Smart, analytical, impassioned fannish comments. He was using my accounts at first, but then he created his own. He was pretty much just smart-gushing about/dissecting Klaine and the episode and the characters' motivations and talking about his headcanon (you know, the stuff we do), and ... not telling anyone who he was.

I thought of posting, "I'm sitting here watching Darren Criss anonymously fan-flail about Glee," but then I thought he might feel a little betrayed by that, so I didn't. I just planned on privately messaging

anxioussquirrel about it, instead. And then probably the rest of the universe.

I know the reason it was Darren and not Chris in my dream is that there is no way I could have been so calm about Chris being in my house. But Darren was apparently a friend of a friend, or one of my cousins (I have like 30 if you just count the first-gen ones, it's hard to keep track, new ones are popping up all the time), or something.

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So I’m kind of excited about not one, but two Kurt bedroom scenes in this week’s episode, because I’ve had so many unanswered questions about the layout raised by previous views of it, and I get obsessive about adhering to the canon layout and decoration in my fic.

However, I also kind of hate that I’m going to have to watch both of those Kurt bedroom scenes over and over again, because I’m not sure I can afford that much Kleenex.

lavender_love00 has already pointed out that Kurt still has his prom queen scepter and crown. I can't believe I missed that. Okay, I can, because MIKE O'MALLEY.

I might need to revise part of a couple scenes in my 8-million page fic that is oh-so-close to being done (damn work and health insurance applications) based on that new piece of information. Or I might just need to leave it be so that the fic sees the light of day before I'm 60 (which is a long time off, in case you're wondering).

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I have watched this episode only once, so naturally I didn't catch even a quarter of what was going on. Truly random notes (based on my Twitter - I tweet nonsensical comments during the episodes because I have no one to flail with other than my cat, and she does not flail):

Thrilled that "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" was a Brittana song. I have a very fond memory of serenading my girlfriend with that on the bus in college (she pretended to hate Whitney, but she loved when I sang it ♥). (Oh, I'm a girl which is why I am appreciating the Sapphic resonance of this performance and its applicability to my life.)
So did Teen Jesus and Quinn sing a song romanticizing adultery?
Mike O'Malley started me sobbing, Chris Colfer continued me on it, and the look on Darren Criss' face made it turn into a snot fest.
The Puck bromance scene. The glittery gift bags! Puck, I love you! Fandom is so right about you being comfortable in your own skin.
After Kurt and Blaine talked in Emma's office, and she gave them that terrible "brutally honest" advice (but I tip my hat off to her for pointing out that she knows nothing about couples' counseling), I was kind of hoping she'd be brutally honest with Will. Instead, she was just honest. There you go, Emma, being nicer to Will than I want, and making me think that you two actually do love each other, even if Will is terrible at showing it, and really needs to go into some counseling of his own (without you as the counselor, dear).
I can't even talk about Kurt and Blaine, except to say that they were so teenagery. (Okay, no, adults make all the same mistakes that they do here.) I love how Kurt was self-centered and Blaine was non-communicative, because that's how they are (and frankly, those things attract them to each other). And I love that these things became problems, because that is what happens in relationships. And I liked that they didn't have huge personality transformations in order to work it out (or really any - wow Kurt, Blaine's going to visit you every weekend? - except you know what, I bet Blaine would rather visit Kurt in New York than the other way around, and that's why Kurt's self-centeredness is not usually a problem for Blaine). Love does not depend on people being perfect.

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NGL, when Will comes home and sees the wedding planner and is all "I will be rapping at my wedding!" I had to LOL. For realz. Because that just made me wish that the Acafellas would make one last appearance. Because I genuinely loved that silly digression.

And yes, props to the writers for having the conflict arise out of well-established character traits. It makes it both more awesome and more hurty. Also, both Darren and Chris are such excellent criers.

I know! Why don't people love it when Will raps? Because I do.

A month or so ago I told one of my fan friends that Blaine is so pretty when he cries, and she said that we've never seen him cry. I was all like, "But no, we've seen his eyes totally well up. That counts!" At least now I have definite evidence.

Of course, even though he was pretty, it did not make me happy at all. He just broke my heart over and over again. I love them both.

Oh, and happy birthday (or recent happy birthday?)!

'twas yesterday, so thanks for that. I spent a good portion of it watching episodes of The Wire, then when I ran out of those I switched to Ken Burns' The Civil War on Netflix. THEN I got an episode of Glee featuring several of my favorite characters crying, Will reclaiming his love of rapping, and Puck giving Blaine a VERY APPROPRIATE novelty shot glass. It was pretty darn good.

LOL OMG I'm am cracking up over here because I didn't realize at the time how appropriate Blaine's shot glass was. BWAHAHAHAHA!

and people say Glee doesn't have continuity!

This was easily the first episode in a while where Will mattered to me. He's just felt more and more irrelevant in some ways as this season has carried on so it was interesting to see some more of their storyline. Although, I so agree, I did want Emma to be a little more blunt! I liked the - I've got OCD and you want me to get married in a campground?! - line. Oh Will.

I can't even really get started on Kurt and Blaine. BROKEN. TOO MANY FEELINGS. It was really hard to watch at times because seeing them sad is incredibly difficult (and made me realise the extent of my perhaps over-investment in fictional characters!). I so agree with your comment about them being teenagery! I felt that was the best part, in a way - their flaws were the same flaws we've seen before and they still managed to work it out.

Maybe Kurt's a little naive (how expensive is a trip to NY all the time? I want to say a fair bit. Considering Blaine's lack of work), but Blaine in some ways is just as bad and they both get caught up in their own emotions so easily.

But that line about Blaine leaving Dalton for Kurt? Ugggghhh it just hit me. I know that feeling of holding on to things in a relationship, and it just doesn't work. It gives you satisfaction in the moment for sucker punching the other person, but that's it. That dissipates and then you're just left feeling horrible for hurting someone and annoyed at your own inability to let things go.

Oops started rambling. SORRY.

But, um, yes. What you said :D

WHY DID YOU STOP?????

It was not rambling. It was fascinating.

Didn't you know Blaine is rich off of his King's Island earnings? Or that his parents are totally loaded and don't mind him trotting off every weekend, and paying for him to go?

Although, as someone who travels to see here honey most every other week and who's honey travels the other weekends (okay, we skip a few here and there), it's not that hard when you get into the routine. Of course, Blaine is in HIGH SCHOOL, so that makes things a little harder.

That being said, there always seem to be random long weekends and holidays in college - the semesters/terms are really that long - maybe 7 months out of the year for the typical student? Which is of course more difficult than what they have now, but I think they can manage.

Oh, I think they are equally good and equally bad about relationship stuff, but the bad is in different ways. Thank goodness it's in different ways. That's why it works out.

Yeah, that Dalton thing was a low blow. That fight looked A LOT like some of the bad fights I've had with my honey. I get all going about my "needs," he pulls out his transfer from Dalton. Fortunately, in my case, these kinds of fights have become fewer and further between as we've gotten to know each other better. I think it will be the same for K and B.

How's that for rambling?

I finally managed to see the episode this evening and then came straight here to read your post. OMG Blaine cried like three times. I wish he was real so I could give him a hug. Darren did such an excellent job. I wuv him.

I had accidentally spoiled myself beforehand about Kurt texting someone and Blaine accusing Kurt of cheating, and I was like "Oh Blainers, don't be a dick." But in the context of the episode I really felt for both Kurt and Blaine, which is fantastic. They both felt like good guys even while they were making each other unhappy.

Ok, the douchiest thing Blaine did was probably announcing to the whole glee club that he felt like he'd been cheated on. NOT COOL. But other than that.

I love that Kurt brought up that Blaine had done the same thing with Sebastian. They both felt flattered and liked the attention, but they both feel kind of left out when the other is getting that attention. And yet those left out feelings aren't really a big deal in the end because what's important is the two of them together. Kurt never really blew up at Blaine about Sebastian (beyond a slightly annoyed "how often do you talk?") and Blaine only blew up at Kurt because he was actually upset about Kurt leaving for a year. It seems to be implied that extracurricular flirtations aren't really enough to phase them, and I LOVE that.

Scheduled make outs. Haha. I can totally see them scheduling makeouts. Every Tuesday after school because the house is empty for two hours, for example. Because Kurt's dad taught him that "If we don't schedule it, we don't hang out, and if we don't hang out, our lives go right by each other." Scheduling is super important to the Hummels.

I love that Burt picked up Kurt's prom queen scepter when he said he might want to keep some stuff.

The a cappella song at the beginning was a great arrangement, and Kurt's song was fantastic. I could listen to him sing forever.

Eeehehehe Blaine suggested skipping glee to run off and have sexytimes. How much do I love that? :D

Oddly, every time Darren has shown up in my dreams, he's been kind of a jerk. Not sure why that would be, since I generally think if him as sweet, hilarious, and gracious. WTF subconscious? WTF?

Do you want me to make you screencaps of the bedroom scenes?

I also really like that Kurt and Blaine didn't have to change themselves in order to work out their issues. (Well, Kurt is going to work on not snapping his fingers at waitstaff, but other than that.)

I'm sure I had more to say but I don't remember right now. Maybe I'll get back to you when I rewatch.

Edit: Oh, and you know how Rachel was named after a Friends character? I feel like she and Chandler must have been separated at birth. LOL.

Edited 2012-04-26 06:55 (UTC)

Okay, I'm pretty sure your reaction to my reaction was longer and more well-informed than my reaction. I love reading what you have to say; when I don't have anything to say in a given week, could I just write "I have nothing to say" and you'd still give me your awesome and well-informed opinion in response?

Yes, Blaine's song was douchey. He shouldn't be taking relationship advice from his girl Rachel (although Kurt apparently should, huh). (Okay, I know that Rachel didn't TELL Blaine to do that, but it was a Rachel/Finn kind of thing to do.)

Ah, crap, I have to go to watch Battlestar Galactica now. More later!

I felt for both of them through the whole episode. At both of the, I kept thinking, "Don't do that! I totally understand why you're doing that." Until it got to the part where they both did the right thing and communicated. I know some people thought the conflict should have been dragged out, but how it happened felt very real to me. I think it would have been hard for either of them to hold on so strongly to the idea of being wronged.

Oh, and now i have to catch the bus. This is going to be a serial response.

Extracurricular flirtations: I'm still waiting to see what happens if those flirtations start happening with someone they *both* like. Um, but, yeah, I guess that's probably not going to happen in canon. Guess I'll have to write fic about that ad infinitum.

I accidentally got spoiled on Kurt's song and that really took some of the steam out of it for me. When I get spoiled on songs, I end up imagining what the scene, choreography and interpretation will be like (even when I try not to), and am always jarred by any differences, even if my imagined version is no better. I hope I can get lost in it when I rewatch, because I LOVE his singing in general.

The opening number was mind-blowing. I couldn't help singing along, and it was warm outside and the windows were open, so all my neighbors got to enjoy that. I have rewatched it a couple times even though I haven't rewatched the whole episode yet (work!), and have caught some nice snippets of Kurt's voice, including his appropro solo lines, which I missed the first time around because I couldn't shut up. (Sorry, or not sorry, but that album was a big thing to me when it came out. I was in the sixth grade all-county chorus and our car full of girls would sing and sing to Whitney Houston on the way to rehearsals.)

You know I will never say no to your screencaps. Never ever.

I didn't realize Rachel had been named after the Rachel from friends. Are their last names the same, too? That would be hilarious, but probably not the case.

I am completely in favor of scheduled makeouts. Maybe that's the relationship advice that Kurt can give back to Rachel. Actually, it seems in high school that unscheduled makeouts might be difficult to come by, what with parents and families and all.

I missed Burt picking up the prom queen scepter. Okay, that needs to go in the list of fics I want to write.

LOL, if you didn't have anything to say and therefore didn't give me anything to respond to, I'd probably just flail about how cute Blaine was or something.

Interesting that you call Rachel Blaine's girl. I've kind of been thinking of Rachel as Kurt's girl and Brittany as Blaine's girl. Heh. No real reason, just Blaine and Brittany seem to have been hanging out a lot in the background and songs. Also Sugar. Also, did you see the Evil Death Glare Blaine gave Rachel in Big Brother during the NCIS dead body scene? Like "YOU ARE SO ANNOYING I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE HOT WHEN I WAS DRUNK THAT TIME."

I'm so glad the conflict wasn't dragged out. Yes the whole problem began due to a lack of communication, but A) not communicating doesn't really make a good story long term, and B) Kurt and Blaine are generally one of the most stable relationships on the show, and I'd hate to see that screwed up by assumptions and secrets. And a whole week of that kind of tension would have sucked.

PLEASE DO WRITE FIC ABOUT FLIRTING. Hi, yes, I'm ok with that idea. I don't know how you feel about Chandler, but he has the potential to be adorable and fun, and Blaine hasn't met him yet. What if they meet and Blaine thinks he's adorable?! And then EVERYONE gets to flirt ALL the time! :D

Interestingly I have liked Kurt's song less on rewatchings. I feel like his highest notes were a lot weaker than they could have been, and something about his arm movements feels fake to me. Hm.

I'm not a fan of How Will I Know in particular but I LOVED the arrangement, and that it's something a real glee club might actually do (no instruments but a bass drum, if I recall correctly). I always love Glee's a cappella arrangements. ♥ ♥

I don't have time to do screencaps today, but I will later this week. :)

One time Shelby asked Rachel where her name came from and she said "My dads were big Friends fans." The Friends characters are called Rachel Green and Chandler Bing. I don't remember what Glee Chandler's last name is, but he said it, and it's definitely not Berry (or Bing).

All the Glee feelings! The nice part about tumblr is that there will be plenty of caps & gifs for your Kurt Hummel bedroom research as to give your poor eyes a break from watching the two scenes. Puck had glittery gift bags? ILH. Also, I like your thoughts and the idea of a new long fic :)

only once? gurl...I have to watch it twice back to back as I always have to pause in the middle of the emotional blangsty scenes for some deep breaths or I'd miss most of it...usually the second time through I can take it in more calmly. and then I always have to rewind to catch the background acting of everyone during the performances because that's like the best.

I had to watch Big Brother with my entire family...that was HELL. trying to contain my flailing to a bare minimum was nearly impossible! never again. I'll just let all my neighbours hate me on tuesday nights instead.

But yes, I loved all the 317 Klaine scenes (& Burt too!) they all did such a fantastic and lovely job!

Well, I don't have a DVR, so I can't rewatch until the next morning, and I was supposed to be doing work and not writing about Glee on Wednesday morning, so you know ... :)

I am very much looking forward to watching it again with a huge box of Kleenex, once I meet all my work deadlines. Sigh.

Boo to work! Yay to writing ;)
My dvr rental is the best 10 bucks a month I spend I think...
And next week...*didacted flailing*...the end ;P

And with that I bid you adieu and hope you have a lovely weekend!

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I have all the feels

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