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Fic: Falling Is Like This - Chapter 5 of 5
Chapter title: Friday, and the World Is Clear
Characters: Kurt/Blaine pre-dating, Rachel
Rating: PG-13 (entire story)
Spoilers: 2.14 (Blame It On the Alcohol).
Warnings: language
Word count: About 18,000 overall, 1,772 this part
Summary: The fact the he enjoyed kissing Rachel at the party is confusing for Blaine. But what's more confusing is Kurt.
Chapter Summary: Blaine makes a discovery: lips that taste like Cherry chapstick are not all they're cracked up to be. Kurt's glad of that.
Author’s Note: Thank you, verdandil, for your beta-ing and pretty-sobbing.
Omigawd, guyz, I can't believe it's over. This chapter is short, and now I want to add like 3,000 words to drag it out, but I won't, because that's not what the story wants. Mean, mean story. Thanks for all of your love and I promise, I will just keep playing with these boys until they make me stop. Which is not gonna happen anytime soon. They told me.
Oh, yeah. The complete author's notes, which include song links and lots of meta, are here.
--------------------
Chapter 5: Friday, And the World Is Clear
Kurt Hummel has a bad feeling about Rachel's plan. The one that Kurt kind of consented to on Wednesday night. As if Blaine was a pawn in their game.
So, there's the guilt about that.
And there's also the fact that Blaine reaffirmed last night that he's gay. Of course, Kurt's not sure that's true – and he's also not sure it's any of his business to have an opinion on whether it's true.
Well, putting both those things aside, Kurt's worried that this plan could very well end up in public humiliation. Not for Kurt, but still. Kurt knows all about public humiliation, and even Rachel – even after being such a crappy friend – doesn't deserve that fate.
Because if Blaine's now saying that he's gay, Kurt can only assume that sparks did not fly for him on his date with Rachel.
But there she is, warming Blaine's seat at the Lima Bean, rubbing gloss on her lips in preparation for the big smack down. So to speak.
So Kurt tells her. "I've got a bad feeling about this Rachel. I mean, I don't mean to be a scold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. There's no victory in this for me either way." And it's true. Just because Blaine won't choose Rachel, it doesn’t mean he'll ever choose Kurt.
Rachel just rolls her eyes and says, "Who cares about you, buddy?" and Kurt changes his mind. Rachel deserves public humiliation, at least today. She keeps chattering on with something equally offensive, but Kurt no longer cares, because the doors have just swung open and it's Blaine.
Blaine.
Blaine walking into the Lima Bean.
And Kurt knows he just saw Blaine at rehearsal, but – Well, that was performance Blaine. And this is Blaine. His friend Blaine. Kurt is overwhelmed by how beautiful he is, and he remembers the sound of Blaine's voice last night, how tenuous it sounded and how full of what sounded like intimate affection – which Kurt is sure he was imagining, but still – it made Kurt feel whole and home.
Blaine looks slightly lost as he glances around the Lima Bean for Kurt. A little vulnerable. There's something about that look that always makes Kurt want to rescue Blaine, sweep him into his arms and take him somewhere safe, pour comfort and desire onto his lips until Blaine feels invincible.
If Kurt were as brave as he wants to make Blaine, he would go up to Blaine right now, whisper Here I am and kiss him.
But Rachel beats Kurt to the punch. She's already bolted from the table and there she is, grabbing Blaine's shoulders and pulling him down to her face and snogging him and –
Blaine doesn't pull away as fast as Kurt would like. His eyes are closed and – oh. Maybe last night's proclamation of gayness was a little too early, the easy intimacy too misleading. And the thoughts are just swarming in Kurt's head. Because bisexuality is fine theoretically. It's fine in reality. As long as Blaine never chooses anyone but Kurt.
And then the kiss is broken, and Blaine is staring at Rachel, a little stunned, and Kurt thinks, Oh, there goes my heart.
Kurt hears it then. "Yep, I'm gay. One-hundred percent gay." And again, in Blaine's trademark eager, polite, flattering tone: "Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel."
Kurt sees Blaine smile shyly at him over Rachel's head and he thinks, Oh, there goes my heart.
But it means something completely different – and good – now.
------------------
Blaine should not feel so exhilarated. He's just walking into the Lima Bean, which means he hasn't had his coffee yet, which means he should be dragging.
But he's thinking about sitting across from Kurt Hummel. And even though the awfulness of the past week should maybe make him nervous about that, he can only seem to remember the wonderful parts: Waking up in Kurt's room, surrounded by the smell of his sheets and the comfort of knowing that Kurt was nearby. Kurt's laughter unraveling the tension in Blaine's chest into pure, languorous warmth. Kurt, staying his friend through everything.
What he's not thinking about is Rachel Berry. He hasn't thought much about her at all since watching her drive off on Wednesday.
But then she's there, in the Lima Bean, in front of him, looking up at him expectantly, and he thinks, Wow, I'm a cad. I haven't even called her to thank her for the movie. And so he starts, "Hey Rachel, what's going on?" and he's about to continue, You know, I had a really nice time on Wednesday, but then she's up in his face and on his lips and –
She's totally the wrong height and the wrong smell and the wrong taste, but if he closes his eyes he can almost forget and if he tries to remember the smell of Kurt's skin on Saturday night, he can almost –
Blaine pulls away. "Huh." That's Rachel in front of him.
And Blaine Anderson is totally gay.
"Yep. I'm gay. One-hundred percent gay," Blaine says, and he kind of feels like skipping around the Lima Bean and bursting into song. But that might be rubbing it in, and Blaine remembers his manners. "Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel."
Rachel is just staring at him a little slack-jawed, and he doesn't know her well enough to figure out what that look means, but he doesn’t really care. Which maybe makes him even more of a cad, but he'll worry about that later. Because, over her head, he sees Kurt now at their usual table and he gets that little happy feeling he always gets when he first sees Kurt and then – Oh, fuck. He saw that.
Blaine needs a minute.
He excuses himself to the restroom and – really, did he just ask her to save his place in line? Super cad. He'll have to apologize for that when he gets back.
He bends over the sink and splashes his lips because they're a little sticky and taste like cherry Chapstick, and that is so not his flavor. He likes honey and mint and cinnamon and coffee. Maybe this makes him mega cad, washing the taste of a girl off his mouth. But he didn't exactly ask her to kiss him. And he doesn't want her lingering on his lips when he goes back out to talk to Kurt. So he rubs his mouth with a dollop of soap and rinses about 20 times.
Good. The flavor's gone. He tastes like soap now, but that's a little more tolerable.
When Blaine steps out of the bathroom, Kurt is leaning against the wall, coffee in hand.
"Medium-drip, Mr. Anderson," he says, arching his eyebrows in that way that Blaine would call seriously seductive if he didn't try to avoid thinking about it that way. Kurt nods his head toward the table where he'd been sitting earlier. "Come on, I saved a seat for you."
"Thanks, Kurt," says Blaine, taking the coffee from Kurt's hand, letting himself brush Kurt's fingers as he does so. Blaine doesn't always feel at home in his real home, but something about that touch feels the way that home should be.
"Where's Rachel?" Blaine says as they walk toward the table, and he congratulates himself for asking about her, because maybe that makes him a little less of a cad. "Is she okay?"
Kurt laughs as he settles into his chair. "Oh, she's more than okay. You should have seen how thrilled she was to be rejected by a gay man."
"Thrilled?"
"Like she had just won a Tony."
"Huh."
"She ran off to go write a song about it. Because being dumped by a guy who turns out to be gay is" – Kurt lets go of his coffee to make air quotes with both hands – "'songwriting gold.'"
"It's not like we were dating," Blaine says. "We went on one date. And it was kind of crummy. I mean, she was nice, but it was crummy."
Kurt takes a sip of his coffee and lifts his eyebrows again and Blaine wishes he wouldn't do that because it really makes it hard to think. "So, how are you?"
Blaine squints at his coffee cup so he can gather his thoughts. Oh, there they are. Thoughts. Good. "I'm okay. I'm fine. A little creeped out. Didn't exactly expect to be accosted in the Lima Bean. But what goes around comes around, I guess." He looks back up and sees the quizzical expression on Kurt's face. "I accosted Jeremiah in the Gap," Blaine says, and thinks, I accosted you everywhere I could. "So I guess getting accosted in the Lima Bean is my comeuppance."
Kurt smirks and rolls his eyes, but his face quickly stills. His eyes are on Blaine's, just watching, and Blaine feels – whole. Blaine's not sure what that feeling means. But he likes it.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt says. "It's really none of my business. You don't have to answer. I'm just wondering."
Blaine swallows. "Ask anything."
"Are you sure about the 100 percent gay thing? Because – it's none of my business, really, but – you kind of seemed to linger."
"It is your business," Blaine says, and as soon as he says it he wonders if that's too what? forward? because Blaine isn’t even sure what he wants from Kurt or why he wants, and maybe Kurt isn't completely uninterested, because Kurt's face lights up and his eyebrows do that thing again and – hell, Blaine will be as kind-of-forward as he can if it makes Kurt look like that. "Remember what you told me about Brittany?"
"Yes."
Blaine inhales sharply and makes himself look into Kurt's eyes. "It's amazing how nice it can be to kiss a girl when you're thinking of someone else." He doesn't have the courage to say any more.
Kurt is thoughtful, a half-smile on his lips. That face, which normally doesn't hide anything from Blaine, is so enigmatic right now.
Kurt starts to hum, and then he's singing softly, "I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry Chapstick."
Blaine laughs. "No. I really didn't like the cherry Chapstick."
Kurt answers with his own laugh and then they are both singing Katy Perry – Kurt quietly and Blaine crooning – their eyes fixed on each other. The rest of the café disappears. The world is just Kurt and music and giddiness, and Blaine wonders if he will ever find the right song to sing to a boy who makes his heart dance.
------------end--------------
Falling is Like This Author's Notes & Meta
--------------------------
Characters: Kurt/Blaine pre-dating, Rachel
Rating: PG-13 (entire story)
Spoilers: 2.14 (Blame It On the Alcohol).
Warnings: language
Word count: About 18,000 overall, 1,772 this part
Summary: The fact the he enjoyed kissing Rachel at the party is confusing for Blaine. But what's more confusing is Kurt.
Chapter Summary: Blaine makes a discovery: lips that taste like Cherry chapstick are not all they're cracked up to be. Kurt's glad of that.
Author’s Note: Thank you, verdandil, for your beta-ing and pretty-sobbing.
Omigawd, guyz, I can't believe it's over. This chapter is short, and now I want to add like 3,000 words to drag it out, but I won't, because that's not what the story wants. Mean, mean story. Thanks for all of your love and I promise, I will just keep playing with these boys until they make me stop. Which is not gonna happen anytime soon. They told me.
Oh, yeah. The complete author's notes, which include song links and lots of meta, are here.
--------------------
Chapter 5: Friday, And the World Is Clear
Kurt Hummel has a bad feeling about Rachel's plan. The one that Kurt kind of consented to on Wednesday night. As if Blaine was a pawn in their game.
So, there's the guilt about that.
And there's also the fact that Blaine reaffirmed last night that he's gay. Of course, Kurt's not sure that's true – and he's also not sure it's any of his business to have an opinion on whether it's true.
Well, putting both those things aside, Kurt's worried that this plan could very well end up in public humiliation. Not for Kurt, but still. Kurt knows all about public humiliation, and even Rachel – even after being such a crappy friend – doesn't deserve that fate.
Because if Blaine's now saying that he's gay, Kurt can only assume that sparks did not fly for him on his date with Rachel.
But there she is, warming Blaine's seat at the Lima Bean, rubbing gloss on her lips in preparation for the big smack down. So to speak.
So Kurt tells her. "I've got a bad feeling about this Rachel. I mean, I don't mean to be a scold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. There's no victory in this for me either way." And it's true. Just because Blaine won't choose Rachel, it doesn’t mean he'll ever choose Kurt.
Rachel just rolls her eyes and says, "Who cares about you, buddy?" and Kurt changes his mind. Rachel deserves public humiliation, at least today. She keeps chattering on with something equally offensive, but Kurt no longer cares, because the doors have just swung open and it's Blaine.
Blaine.
Blaine walking into the Lima Bean.
And Kurt knows he just saw Blaine at rehearsal, but – Well, that was performance Blaine. And this is Blaine. His friend Blaine. Kurt is overwhelmed by how beautiful he is, and he remembers the sound of Blaine's voice last night, how tenuous it sounded and how full of what sounded like intimate affection – which Kurt is sure he was imagining, but still – it made Kurt feel whole and home.
Blaine looks slightly lost as he glances around the Lima Bean for Kurt. A little vulnerable. There's something about that look that always makes Kurt want to rescue Blaine, sweep him into his arms and take him somewhere safe, pour comfort and desire onto his lips until Blaine feels invincible.
If Kurt were as brave as he wants to make Blaine, he would go up to Blaine right now, whisper Here I am and kiss him.
But Rachel beats Kurt to the punch. She's already bolted from the table and there she is, grabbing Blaine's shoulders and pulling him down to her face and snogging him and –
Blaine doesn't pull away as fast as Kurt would like. His eyes are closed and – oh. Maybe last night's proclamation of gayness was a little too early, the easy intimacy too misleading. And the thoughts are just swarming in Kurt's head. Because bisexuality is fine theoretically. It's fine in reality. As long as Blaine never chooses anyone but Kurt.
And then the kiss is broken, and Blaine is staring at Rachel, a little stunned, and Kurt thinks, Oh, there goes my heart.
Kurt hears it then. "Yep, I'm gay. One-hundred percent gay." And again, in Blaine's trademark eager, polite, flattering tone: "Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel."
Kurt sees Blaine smile shyly at him over Rachel's head and he thinks, Oh, there goes my heart.
But it means something completely different – and good – now.
------------------
Blaine should not feel so exhilarated. He's just walking into the Lima Bean, which means he hasn't had his coffee yet, which means he should be dragging.
But he's thinking about sitting across from Kurt Hummel. And even though the awfulness of the past week should maybe make him nervous about that, he can only seem to remember the wonderful parts: Waking up in Kurt's room, surrounded by the smell of his sheets and the comfort of knowing that Kurt was nearby. Kurt's laughter unraveling the tension in Blaine's chest into pure, languorous warmth. Kurt, staying his friend through everything.
What he's not thinking about is Rachel Berry. He hasn't thought much about her at all since watching her drive off on Wednesday.
But then she's there, in the Lima Bean, in front of him, looking up at him expectantly, and he thinks, Wow, I'm a cad. I haven't even called her to thank her for the movie. And so he starts, "Hey Rachel, what's going on?" and he's about to continue, You know, I had a really nice time on Wednesday, but then she's up in his face and on his lips and –
She's totally the wrong height and the wrong smell and the wrong taste, but if he closes his eyes he can almost forget and if he tries to remember the smell of Kurt's skin on Saturday night, he can almost –
Blaine pulls away. "Huh." That's Rachel in front of him.
And Blaine Anderson is totally gay.
"Yep. I'm gay. One-hundred percent gay," Blaine says, and he kind of feels like skipping around the Lima Bean and bursting into song. But that might be rubbing it in, and Blaine remembers his manners. "Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel."
Rachel is just staring at him a little slack-jawed, and he doesn't know her well enough to figure out what that look means, but he doesn’t really care. Which maybe makes him even more of a cad, but he'll worry about that later. Because, over her head, he sees Kurt now at their usual table and he gets that little happy feeling he always gets when he first sees Kurt and then – Oh, fuck. He saw that.
Blaine needs a minute.
He excuses himself to the restroom and – really, did he just ask her to save his place in line? Super cad. He'll have to apologize for that when he gets back.
He bends over the sink and splashes his lips because they're a little sticky and taste like cherry Chapstick, and that is so not his flavor. He likes honey and mint and cinnamon and coffee. Maybe this makes him mega cad, washing the taste of a girl off his mouth. But he didn't exactly ask her to kiss him. And he doesn't want her lingering on his lips when he goes back out to talk to Kurt. So he rubs his mouth with a dollop of soap and rinses about 20 times.
Good. The flavor's gone. He tastes like soap now, but that's a little more tolerable.
When Blaine steps out of the bathroom, Kurt is leaning against the wall, coffee in hand.
"Medium-drip, Mr. Anderson," he says, arching his eyebrows in that way that Blaine would call seriously seductive if he didn't try to avoid thinking about it that way. Kurt nods his head toward the table where he'd been sitting earlier. "Come on, I saved a seat for you."
"Thanks, Kurt," says Blaine, taking the coffee from Kurt's hand, letting himself brush Kurt's fingers as he does so. Blaine doesn't always feel at home in his real home, but something about that touch feels the way that home should be.
"Where's Rachel?" Blaine says as they walk toward the table, and he congratulates himself for asking about her, because maybe that makes him a little less of a cad. "Is she okay?"
Kurt laughs as he settles into his chair. "Oh, she's more than okay. You should have seen how thrilled she was to be rejected by a gay man."
"Thrilled?"
"Like she had just won a Tony."
"Huh."
"She ran off to go write a song about it. Because being dumped by a guy who turns out to be gay is" – Kurt lets go of his coffee to make air quotes with both hands – "'songwriting gold.'"
"It's not like we were dating," Blaine says. "We went on one date. And it was kind of crummy. I mean, she was nice, but it was crummy."
Kurt takes a sip of his coffee and lifts his eyebrows again and Blaine wishes he wouldn't do that because it really makes it hard to think. "So, how are you?"
Blaine squints at his coffee cup so he can gather his thoughts. Oh, there they are. Thoughts. Good. "I'm okay. I'm fine. A little creeped out. Didn't exactly expect to be accosted in the Lima Bean. But what goes around comes around, I guess." He looks back up and sees the quizzical expression on Kurt's face. "I accosted Jeremiah in the Gap," Blaine says, and thinks, I accosted you everywhere I could. "So I guess getting accosted in the Lima Bean is my comeuppance."
Kurt smirks and rolls his eyes, but his face quickly stills. His eyes are on Blaine's, just watching, and Blaine feels – whole. Blaine's not sure what that feeling means. But he likes it.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt says. "It's really none of my business. You don't have to answer. I'm just wondering."
Blaine swallows. "Ask anything."
"Are you sure about the 100 percent gay thing? Because – it's none of my business, really, but – you kind of seemed to linger."
"It is your business," Blaine says, and as soon as he says it he wonders if that's too what? forward? because Blaine isn’t even sure what he wants from Kurt or why he wants, and maybe Kurt isn't completely uninterested, because Kurt's face lights up and his eyebrows do that thing again and – hell, Blaine will be as kind-of-forward as he can if it makes Kurt look like that. "Remember what you told me about Brittany?"
"Yes."
Blaine inhales sharply and makes himself look into Kurt's eyes. "It's amazing how nice it can be to kiss a girl when you're thinking of someone else." He doesn't have the courage to say any more.
Kurt is thoughtful, a half-smile on his lips. That face, which normally doesn't hide anything from Blaine, is so enigmatic right now.
Kurt starts to hum, and then he's singing softly, "I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry Chapstick."
Blaine laughs. "No. I really didn't like the cherry Chapstick."
Kurt answers with his own laugh and then they are both singing Katy Perry – Kurt quietly and Blaine crooning – their eyes fixed on each other. The rest of the café disappears. The world is just Kurt and music and giddiness, and Blaine wonders if he will ever find the right song to sing to a boy who makes his heart dance.
------------end--------------
Falling is Like This Author's Notes & Meta
--------------------------