Fic summary: An unlikely friendship forms among Dave, Blaine and Kurt. Or, Dave learns how to love himself, Blaine learns how to accept love, and Kurt learns that love is more complicated — and simpler — than he ever imagined.

Section summary:
Flashback. Dave realizes he’s gay and doesn’t come to terms with it.

More notes: There is a reason this isn’t a numbered chapter. It takes a step out of the timeline and back a couple years. It can be read at any point – on its own, before you begin the story, or several chapters in. If you’re reading Fidelity as I post and don’t feel like going into Dave’s brain right now, save it for when you do.

Section warnings: If this chapter didn’t have homophobia, internalized homophobia, slurs, and misgendering, it would be a very inaccurate portrayal of Dave’s journey.
Pairings in this section: Dave/Brittany, massively unrequited Dave/Kurt
Rating: NC-17 overall

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2009
 

What Dave is has been written in his muscles and his heart as long as he can remember; it’s been plastered all over his wet dreams since puberty began. Still, he never let his waking brain clearly picture himself with a guy until he finally hooked up with someone for the first time.

Before that, the images were vague and inexplicit when he jerked off. Sometimes, he thought of the strange, warm feeling of safety he’d have sitting at the foot of Azimio’s bed, flipping through Sports Illustrated and sharing a bowl of popcorn while watching whatever was on ESPN. When he felt more daring, he’d remember details of the casual football scrimmages he played with his friends after school: the grip of another player's hands on his hips as he was being tackled, the heft of torso and pelvis on the back of his thighs, the shock of hitting the turf all tangled up in someone else's body. The best times were when he’d replay and expand upon backyard wrestling matches that he’d lost, pinned down to the ground by the weight of another guy, helpless and immobile, caged between their legs and arms and at the absolute mercy of anything they decided to do to him.

Read more... )

Title: Slow Dissolve
Characters/Fandom: Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Finn, Santana, Brittany, Burt, Carole (in canon pairings)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~5,000
Spoilers: 4.01, “The New Rachel”
Warnings: possible physical and/or mental health issues, dieting, helplessness
Summary: Kurt changes the summer after he graduates. No one fully understands what it means – not even Kurt.
A/N: The entire fic takes place before Season 4 begins, but it’s essentially a reaction fic to the first episode of Season 4 and how I saw Kurt and his relationships portrayed in it. Title from the song “Slow Motion” by David Gray. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lavender_love00 and [livejournal.com profile] punkkitten2113 for being great betas!

Also on here on tumblr.

Extended author's note/warning: This narrative isn’t what I would consider an angst genre piece. But it’s not a satisfying narrative in which everything gets tied up neatly at the end. I don’t recommend reading this if you have been looking for the meaning of life and are frustrated that you haven’t found it yet, or if you have untreated clinical depression, or if you have a disposition toward hopelessness. I’m being completely sincere here. I’ve read things that lack resolution when I’ve been in those mental states, and I’ve regretted it every time. Come back when you’re in a different space.


If he was so invisible to the world, when would he disappear completely? )

Thanks for keeping your comments spoiler-free! 

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